Last night Mrs Bear and I attended our first ante-natal class. I must admit I was not looking forward to it; I expected to be lying on big cushions doing breathing exercises for 2 hours but it proved to be quite different.
The midwife presenting the session was very down-to-earth and a touch aggressive but she got her point across, it was all informative and very re-assuring, particularly for myself, who up until now has believed that my key role at the birth is to ensure everyone has enough Kit Kats.
I specifically read in a pregnancy manual (very much like the Haynes car variety but with more graphic pictures of vaginas) that the partner of the mother should bring along plenty of snacks and try to keep everyone well fed and calm during the labour process. So I have been out and bought 48 Kit Kats and 20 Valium tablets - should keep us going for a few days.
Thursday, 9 August 2007
Wednesday, 18 July 2007
Burberry Arabs
I had a meeting in London this morning and whilst waiting for a colleague at Liverpool station I saw the most amusing bunch of folk wandering round.
They were Arabic or potentially Egyptian, mostly women and hugely fat; nothing amusing in this you say, however, they were all decked out in Burberry gear - the eye-catching house check no less. At first I thought it was a branch of the Aberdeen Soccer Casuals who's 'members' can often be seen in lairy Burberry jackets, scarves and hats but no, it was obviously some rich family who were on holiday and had just come back from a trip on Oxford Street.
They had headscarves, shorts, shirts, coats, wraps, socks and other stuff all in the famous check - I thought it was hilarious because they obviosuly thought they were the height of fashion but alas no, they just looked stupid!
They were Arabic or potentially Egyptian, mostly women and hugely fat; nothing amusing in this you say, however, they were all decked out in Burberry gear - the eye-catching house check no less. At first I thought it was a branch of the Aberdeen Soccer Casuals who's 'members' can often be seen in lairy Burberry jackets, scarves and hats but no, it was obviously some rich family who were on holiday and had just come back from a trip on Oxford Street.
They had headscarves, shorts, shirts, coats, wraps, socks and other stuff all in the famous check - I thought it was hilarious because they obviosuly thought they were the height of fashion but alas no, they just looked stupid!
Tuesday, 3 July 2007
Thorne in my side
The first exciting signings of the season have arrived, Peter Thorne and Barry Conlon. Two experienced strikers that will no doubt be leading the front line next season for BCFC.
When players are described as 'experienced' it generally means 'old bastard' or 'played for every other club in the football league'. I must admit that I am not a fan of Peter Thorne, but he may be suitable for basement level football - I think he only scored 2 goals all last season so not exactly a great record. He has changed hands for big money in the past though so maybe this will be one last hurrah for the 34 year old. I can't see him being as prolific as Windass, however, he will probably cause a lot less problems on and off the field.
Conlon has played over 300 games so again he can be tagged as experienced which is probably what you need at fourth division level.
We must now have a squad of 8 full time professionals; at least they can now have 4-a-side in training. I think training last week must've involved canoeing across the training pitch as it was heavily flooded. They might actually get to kick a ball about this week.
Lets hope we get a new goalkeeper and some midfielders in the door this week.
When players are described as 'experienced' it generally means 'old bastard' or 'played for every other club in the football league'. I must admit that I am not a fan of Peter Thorne, but he may be suitable for basement level football - I think he only scored 2 goals all last season so not exactly a great record. He has changed hands for big money in the past though so maybe this will be one last hurrah for the 34 year old. I can't see him being as prolific as Windass, however, he will probably cause a lot less problems on and off the field.
Conlon has played over 300 games so again he can be tagged as experienced which is probably what you need at fourth division level.
We must now have a squad of 8 full time professionals; at least they can now have 4-a-side in training. I think training last week must've involved canoeing across the training pitch as it was heavily flooded. They might actually get to kick a ball about this week.
Lets hope we get a new goalkeeper and some midfielders in the door this week.
Monday, 2 July 2007
Diana concert
Did anyone else think the Diana concert on Sunday was utter shite? I only saw bits of it as I was busy constructing a nursery for my forthcoming progeny. The whole thing look dull, uninspiring and completely full of upper middle class twits. The line-up was dreadful - felt sorry for Ricky Gervais at the end, having to fill in for Elton John whilst he was pissing around backstage with his toupee.
What exactly did the 'peoples princess' actually do for the country? Slept with a couple of Arabs, told the Royal Family what she thought of them and died in a car crash. Not exactly a huge contribution to British society is it?
I also saw the documentary recently about the Diana car crash - why are certain people still insisting that there is a huge conspiracy around her death? A pissed-up driver going too fast crashes in a tunnel, passengers dead - that's it, end of story.
What exactly did the 'peoples princess' actually do for the country? Slept with a couple of Arabs, told the Royal Family what she thought of them and died in a car crash. Not exactly a huge contribution to British society is it?
I also saw the documentary recently about the Diana car crash - why are certain people still insisting that there is a huge conspiracy around her death? A pissed-up driver going too fast crashes in a tunnel, passengers dead - that's it, end of story.
Friday, 29 June 2007
Local blogger hounds man from job
Yes ... it is true, following my rant earlier in the week about Bobby Davison, I can confirm that he has now been relieved of his post at BCFC:
http://www.bradfordcityfc.premiumtv.co.uk/page/News/0,,10266~1063845,00.html
I cannot claim this to be all my own work but I have certainly let my feelings be known over the last year in relation to his lack of ability.
No doubt 'super' Bob will be cleaning out the drains in Gipton next week or something equally appropriate to his skills - actually, I take that back, that is a disservice to those who are professionally capable of drainage cleansing. 'Super' Bob will probably just end of sat in Cross Flats park drinking strong cider all day and bothering children.
Onwards and upwards!
http://www.bradfordcityfc.premiumtv.co.uk/page/News/0,,10266~1063845,00.html
I cannot claim this to be all my own work but I have certainly let my feelings be known over the last year in relation to his lack of ability.
No doubt 'super' Bob will be cleaning out the drains in Gipton next week or something equally appropriate to his skills - actually, I take that back, that is a disservice to those who are professionally capable of drainage cleansing. 'Super' Bob will probably just end of sat in Cross Flats park drinking strong cider all day and bothering children.
Onwards and upwards!
Wednesday, 27 June 2007
Bobby Davison is a ****
Not only is he a ****, he is the most useless and talentless coach ever to be part of Bradford City.
My blood was boiling at the weekend when I saw 'super' Bob playing for 'super' Leeds in the Masters tournament in Sheffield. Somehow Leeds managed to win the indoor tournament due to the help of 'super' Bob who was also seen offering the traditional Leeds Nazi salute to the crowd.
I hope City sack this odious little turd immediately. He has offered nothing at the club over the past few years and should've gone when Todd was sacked.
For the last few games of the season he was made to sit in the stand with his crayons; I think he was instructed to take notes on the opposition tactics and players, however I was fortunate to get a glance of his notes at one of the games (see below) and it proved to be quite revealing.
See you later Bob, no-one gives a f*** about you.
My blood was boiling at the weekend when I saw 'super' Bob playing for 'super' Leeds in the Masters tournament in Sheffield. Somehow Leeds managed to win the indoor tournament due to the help of 'super' Bob who was also seen offering the traditional Leeds Nazi salute to the crowd.
I hope City sack this odious little turd immediately. He has offered nothing at the club over the past few years and should've gone when Todd was sacked.
For the last few games of the season he was made to sit in the stand with his crayons; I think he was instructed to take notes on the opposition tactics and players, however I was fortunate to get a glance of his notes at one of the games (see below) and it proved to be quite revealing.
See you later Bob, no-one gives a f*** about you.
From smugness to misery
So Mr Blair has finally left number 10. I'm sure we all shed a tear as he left with his family to give his resignation to the queen. And what next for big Tony, a peace envoy for the middle east we hear? How on earth could he seriously be considered for such a position? He has spent the last 5 years blowing the shit out of the place.
And what of our next great leader ... the miserable Scottish twat that is Gordon Brown - never has one man been so devoid of personality and charisma. Oh yes, he knows a lot about taxation so no doubt we will all be feeling the pinch in due course ... dog tax, air tax, plant tax, walking tax, standing still on the pavement tax etc. I am sure we'll all be digging deep in due course to help fund the government's next 'war on terror'.
Good old Tony has left a whole lot of shit for Brown to sort with - Iraq, Asylum seekers, the NHS, pensions etc. No doubt Blair will be having a right old laugh as Gordon and his cabinet try to dig the country out of the crisis he has left it in.
And what of our next great leader ... the miserable Scottish twat that is Gordon Brown - never has one man been so devoid of personality and charisma. Oh yes, he knows a lot about taxation so no doubt we will all be feeling the pinch in due course ... dog tax, air tax, plant tax, walking tax, standing still on the pavement tax etc. I am sure we'll all be digging deep in due course to help fund the government's next 'war on terror'.
Good old Tony has left a whole lot of shit for Brown to sort with - Iraq, Asylum seekers, the NHS, pensions etc. No doubt Blair will be having a right old laugh as Gordon and his cabinet try to dig the country out of the crisis he has left it in.
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