So Police now suspect that Kate McCann is involved in the death of their daughter Madeleine. Interestingly enough we were out for a family meal on Saturday and my Dad suggested that he smelt something fishy about the whole thing; he even went as far as pointing the finger at the parents. We all looked at him as if he had just jumped on a new born puppy's head - how could the parents possibly be involved? After the huge outpouring of support and sympathy from the public across the world, how could they possibly have been involved in her 'murder'?
Something is rotten in Denmark and its not the contents of Prince Hamlet's lunchbox.
Friday 7 September 2007
Thursday 6 September 2007
Pavarotti
My memories of World Cup '90? Gazza crying, losing on penalties to Germany, Toto Scillachi, Roger Milla and running battles with the Italian Caribrinari ... oh yeah and some big fat guy wandering round Milan in a big shirt singing 'Nessum Dorma'.
Just heard that our large Italian friend has lost his battle with cancer. Not really a fan of opera but give the guy credit for bringing it to the huddled masses on the back of the World Cup.
If only World Cups were as entertaining and memorable as they were back then. Looks like England will not even make the next Euro Championships.
Just heard that our large Italian friend has lost his battle with cancer. Not really a fan of opera but give the guy credit for bringing it to the huddled masses on the back of the World Cup.
If only World Cups were as entertaining and memorable as they were back then. Looks like England will not even make the next Euro Championships.
Trawlermen
The excellent 'Trawlermen' returned on BBC1 last night. It was a 'best of' the recent exploits of the Scottish fishermen but nevertheless it is a very entertaining programme.
Sometimes I complain about the long hours and intensiveness of my own job but it is nothing compared the job these guys do. As I sat in my 5 star hotel, lying on my king size bed watching them, I realised things really aren't that tough and dealing with the odd difficult customer is nothing compared to wrestling with the treacherous North sea on regular basis.
Looking forward to a new series soon. Keep up the good work chaps.
Sometimes I complain about the long hours and intensiveness of my own job but it is nothing compared the job these guys do. As I sat in my 5 star hotel, lying on my king size bed watching them, I realised things really aren't that tough and dealing with the odd difficult customer is nothing compared to wrestling with the treacherous North sea on regular basis.
Looking forward to a new series soon. Keep up the good work chaps.
Friday 17 August 2007
Jimmy Jimmy
To commemorate the trip to the new meadow tomorrow, I have prepared a re-construction of Jimmy Quinn's goal from the late 80s:
A trip to the meadow
Tomorrow sees BCFC playing at Shrewsbury Town; not only that, but it is The Shrews first home league game at their new stadium - I use the word 'stadium' in its broadest sense, it will probably be more like a shoebox with about as much character as my shed.
However, I am not downhearted about this trip, quite the opposite in fact. Shrewsbury has been one of my favourite away trips over the years; Gay Meadow was a strange but enticing ground where we've generally played well. I once saw a Jimmy Quinn goal there in the late 80s that could've quite easily been scored by Pele or George Best in his prime; he didn't quite get the same recognition though - just a load of marauding bastards going mental in the away end. A 3-1 win that day if my memory serves correct!
On another occasion I remember a trip to the Meadow where we lost in a cup replay - one of my mates 'Evs' decided that the loss for too tragic for words and decided to launch his hat from the car window as we miserably drove back up north through the windy Shropshire lanes.
Then there was the time where we managed a 1-1 draw there in the 1995-96 promotion season. The result seems trivial enough but I believe it was The Shrews 10,000 home game in the football league so quite a celebration was put on by the locals.
I think that was probably the last time we played Shrewsbury; since then we've been up to the very top and now find ourselves down at the very bottom. Let us hope that our slide does not continue and that we can start to claw our way back up the north face of the football league, starting tomorrow.
I wonder what the man in the coracle is doing now? Was he on a bonus for every ball he rescued from the river?
However, I am not downhearted about this trip, quite the opposite in fact. Shrewsbury has been one of my favourite away trips over the years; Gay Meadow was a strange but enticing ground where we've generally played well. I once saw a Jimmy Quinn goal there in the late 80s that could've quite easily been scored by Pele or George Best in his prime; he didn't quite get the same recognition though - just a load of marauding bastards going mental in the away end. A 3-1 win that day if my memory serves correct!
On another occasion I remember a trip to the Meadow where we lost in a cup replay - one of my mates 'Evs' decided that the loss for too tragic for words and decided to launch his hat from the car window as we miserably drove back up north through the windy Shropshire lanes.
Then there was the time where we managed a 1-1 draw there in the 1995-96 promotion season. The result seems trivial enough but I believe it was The Shrews 10,000 home game in the football league so quite a celebration was put on by the locals.
I think that was probably the last time we played Shrewsbury; since then we've been up to the very top and now find ourselves down at the very bottom. Let us hope that our slide does not continue and that we can start to claw our way back up the north face of the football league, starting tomorrow.
I wonder what the man in the coracle is doing now? Was he on a bonus for every ball he rescued from the river?
Thursday 16 August 2007
The three stages of labour
I had always thought the three stages of labour were as follows:
Clement Attlee >>>> Harold Wilson >>>> Tony Blair
It appears that it actually refers to the labour process that women go through during child birth. This was extensively described to Mrs Bear and I at the ante-natal class last night.
At stage 1, the cervix becomes all stretchy like a medium rare steak – what a nice thought? No need to get to the hospital just yet, the best advice is to stay at home, eat lots of snacks and have a nap; luckily Mrs Bear is good at all these things.
Contractions become longer, stronger and more frequent. This is the point where I start to panic as I will no doubt be at a meeting in the Outer Hebrides and will need to get to the hospital ASAP.
The midwife advises that you should ‘go to your happy place’ when the contractions start getting more and more painful. She suggested an imaginary igloo – I thought it was getting a bit Fight Club at this point!
At the second stage, junior decides to make an appearance as his head decides to pop out. We watched two separate videos of childbirth which were most reassuring (!) At least 50% of the women were sat there is abject terror as they saw the women going through it on the TV. The men were even worse!
Finally, at stage 3, junior pops out. We put on his (or her) BCFC romper suit and jobs a good ‘un.
Yes I know I am slightly trivialising the process here and am acutely aware of the forthcoming pain that will be endured during the birth. I am fully prepared for my role as birthing partner; kits kats purchased and ready to go.
We also had a tour of the delivery suite which was again most re-assuring. We are now even considering a water birth as the facilities look excellent and somehow seem more relaxing and comforting than the very clinically focused delivery rooms.
Anyway, whilst all this was going on, Bradford went out of the League Cup to Wolves – a narrow 2-1 defeat which was better than the whitewash I was expecting.
Clement Attlee >>>> Harold Wilson >>>> Tony Blair
It appears that it actually refers to the labour process that women go through during child birth. This was extensively described to Mrs Bear and I at the ante-natal class last night.
At stage 1, the cervix becomes all stretchy like a medium rare steak – what a nice thought? No need to get to the hospital just yet, the best advice is to stay at home, eat lots of snacks and have a nap; luckily Mrs Bear is good at all these things.
Contractions become longer, stronger and more frequent. This is the point where I start to panic as I will no doubt be at a meeting in the Outer Hebrides and will need to get to the hospital ASAP.
The midwife advises that you should ‘go to your happy place’ when the contractions start getting more and more painful. She suggested an imaginary igloo – I thought it was getting a bit Fight Club at this point!
At the second stage, junior decides to make an appearance as his head decides to pop out. We watched two separate videos of childbirth which were most reassuring (!) At least 50% of the women were sat there is abject terror as they saw the women going through it on the TV. The men were even worse!
Finally, at stage 3, junior pops out. We put on his (or her) BCFC romper suit and jobs a good ‘un.
Yes I know I am slightly trivialising the process here and am acutely aware of the forthcoming pain that will be endured during the birth. I am fully prepared for my role as birthing partner; kits kats purchased and ready to go.
We also had a tour of the delivery suite which was again most re-assuring. We are now even considering a water birth as the facilities look excellent and somehow seem more relaxing and comforting than the very clinically focused delivery rooms.
Anyway, whilst all this was going on, Bradford went out of the League Cup to Wolves – a narrow 2-1 defeat which was better than the whitewash I was expecting.
Monday 13 August 2007
Do Jamaican's make good footballers?
Behold 13,000 boisterous City fans eagerly anticipating the kick off at 2.55pm on Saturday. I wondered how many of them left the ground satisfied at 5pm that afternoon?
I thought the performance was largely disappointing; even though it is a new team, with the experience on show we still should’ve managed more than a 1-1 draw with Macclesfield. In all honesty I thought we were lucky to scrape the draw; the penalty which lead to the goal was dubious at best.
The positives from Saturday; Barry Conlon – will be an essential cog in the wheel this season. He showed amazing touches and link up play, it is a pity he missed a couple of headers and the initial penalty.
Alex Rhodes – not the chairman’s wife, although she has done a good job in the last few months … the young winger formerly of Brentford showed pace and skill during the first half; although he tired towards the end, I am sure he will be a good acquisition.
The bar – we had been informed that there would be no draft beer this season, only bottles. To our surprise this was not the case and the taps did flow with finest ales (Well, dodgy Carlsberg anyway). Still there was no increase in prices either which was nice and to round things off, the bar maid who I may’ve uncharitably commented upon last year seemed delighted to see us and was indeed chatty and friendly. Will it last?
The negatives – Donovan and Daley; have we not learnt our lessons with these two? Goalkeepers are meant to show confidence through their handling and kicking abilities; Donovan does not and although a good shot stopper he is simply not good enough in other areas. Daley is an enigma – we will probably have to invent some kind of decoding machine to understand what goes on inside his head – wingers use their pace to get down the line and pass the ball accurately to centre-forwards; alas Daley in incapable of this, he should spend some time with Beagrie, Ellis, Waddle, Hendrie et al to find out why they were so good at what they did – it wasn’t always about pace but good passing ability is a minimum requirement. Come back Nicky Sumerbee, the idiot in the CIBA stand is probably long gone now.
Finally, I’ve seen comments already about the Muppets sat behind us in the stand. If I had wanted full commentary on the game, I would’ve got season tickets with Andy Gray and Martin Tyler; these two idiots are like Waldorf and Stadler from the Muppets with their tales of the bleeding obvious, racist analogies and mindless drivel. I can’t cope with these two and the Witches of Eastwick alongside us – I politely asked them if I could get past before the game and they didn’t move so I had to boot their lunchbox on to the row below.
At least we didn’t lose. Onwards to Shrewsbury.
I thought the performance was largely disappointing; even though it is a new team, with the experience on show we still should’ve managed more than a 1-1 draw with Macclesfield. In all honesty I thought we were lucky to scrape the draw; the penalty which lead to the goal was dubious at best.
The positives from Saturday; Barry Conlon – will be an essential cog in the wheel this season. He showed amazing touches and link up play, it is a pity he missed a couple of headers and the initial penalty.
Alex Rhodes – not the chairman’s wife, although she has done a good job in the last few months … the young winger formerly of Brentford showed pace and skill during the first half; although he tired towards the end, I am sure he will be a good acquisition.
The bar – we had been informed that there would be no draft beer this season, only bottles. To our surprise this was not the case and the taps did flow with finest ales (Well, dodgy Carlsberg anyway). Still there was no increase in prices either which was nice and to round things off, the bar maid who I may’ve uncharitably commented upon last year seemed delighted to see us and was indeed chatty and friendly. Will it last?
The negatives – Donovan and Daley; have we not learnt our lessons with these two? Goalkeepers are meant to show confidence through their handling and kicking abilities; Donovan does not and although a good shot stopper he is simply not good enough in other areas. Daley is an enigma – we will probably have to invent some kind of decoding machine to understand what goes on inside his head – wingers use their pace to get down the line and pass the ball accurately to centre-forwards; alas Daley in incapable of this, he should spend some time with Beagrie, Ellis, Waddle, Hendrie et al to find out why they were so good at what they did – it wasn’t always about pace but good passing ability is a minimum requirement. Come back Nicky Sumerbee, the idiot in the CIBA stand is probably long gone now.
Finally, I’ve seen comments already about the Muppets sat behind us in the stand. If I had wanted full commentary on the game, I would’ve got season tickets with Andy Gray and Martin Tyler; these two idiots are like Waldorf and Stadler from the Muppets with their tales of the bleeding obvious, racist analogies and mindless drivel. I can’t cope with these two and the Witches of Eastwick alongside us – I politely asked them if I could get past before the game and they didn’t move so I had to boot their lunchbox on to the row below.
At least we didn’t lose. Onwards to Shrewsbury.
Thursday 9 August 2007
Ante-natal classes
Last night Mrs Bear and I attended our first ante-natal class. I must admit I was not looking forward to it; I expected to be lying on big cushions doing breathing exercises for 2 hours but it proved to be quite different.
The midwife presenting the session was very down-to-earth and a touch aggressive but she got her point across, it was all informative and very re-assuring, particularly for myself, who up until now has believed that my key role at the birth is to ensure everyone has enough Kit Kats.
I specifically read in a pregnancy manual (very much like the Haynes car variety but with more graphic pictures of vaginas) that the partner of the mother should bring along plenty of snacks and try to keep everyone well fed and calm during the labour process. So I have been out and bought 48 Kit Kats and 20 Valium tablets - should keep us going for a few days.
The midwife presenting the session was very down-to-earth and a touch aggressive but she got her point across, it was all informative and very re-assuring, particularly for myself, who up until now has believed that my key role at the birth is to ensure everyone has enough Kit Kats.
I specifically read in a pregnancy manual (very much like the Haynes car variety but with more graphic pictures of vaginas) that the partner of the mother should bring along plenty of snacks and try to keep everyone well fed and calm during the labour process. So I have been out and bought 48 Kit Kats and 20 Valium tablets - should keep us going for a few days.
Wednesday 18 July 2007
Burberry Arabs
I had a meeting in London this morning and whilst waiting for a colleague at Liverpool station I saw the most amusing bunch of folk wandering round.
They were Arabic or potentially Egyptian, mostly women and hugely fat; nothing amusing in this you say, however, they were all decked out in Burberry gear - the eye-catching house check no less. At first I thought it was a branch of the Aberdeen Soccer Casuals who's 'members' can often be seen in lairy Burberry jackets, scarves and hats but no, it was obviously some rich family who were on holiday and had just come back from a trip on Oxford Street.
They had headscarves, shorts, shirts, coats, wraps, socks and other stuff all in the famous check - I thought it was hilarious because they obviosuly thought they were the height of fashion but alas no, they just looked stupid!
They were Arabic or potentially Egyptian, mostly women and hugely fat; nothing amusing in this you say, however, they were all decked out in Burberry gear - the eye-catching house check no less. At first I thought it was a branch of the Aberdeen Soccer Casuals who's 'members' can often be seen in lairy Burberry jackets, scarves and hats but no, it was obviously some rich family who were on holiday and had just come back from a trip on Oxford Street.
They had headscarves, shorts, shirts, coats, wraps, socks and other stuff all in the famous check - I thought it was hilarious because they obviosuly thought they were the height of fashion but alas no, they just looked stupid!
Tuesday 3 July 2007
Thorne in my side
The first exciting signings of the season have arrived, Peter Thorne and Barry Conlon. Two experienced strikers that will no doubt be leading the front line next season for BCFC.
When players are described as 'experienced' it generally means 'old bastard' or 'played for every other club in the football league'. I must admit that I am not a fan of Peter Thorne, but he may be suitable for basement level football - I think he only scored 2 goals all last season so not exactly a great record. He has changed hands for big money in the past though so maybe this will be one last hurrah for the 34 year old. I can't see him being as prolific as Windass, however, he will probably cause a lot less problems on and off the field.
Conlon has played over 300 games so again he can be tagged as experienced which is probably what you need at fourth division level.
We must now have a squad of 8 full time professionals; at least they can now have 4-a-side in training. I think training last week must've involved canoeing across the training pitch as it was heavily flooded. They might actually get to kick a ball about this week.
Lets hope we get a new goalkeeper and some midfielders in the door this week.
When players are described as 'experienced' it generally means 'old bastard' or 'played for every other club in the football league'. I must admit that I am not a fan of Peter Thorne, but he may be suitable for basement level football - I think he only scored 2 goals all last season so not exactly a great record. He has changed hands for big money in the past though so maybe this will be one last hurrah for the 34 year old. I can't see him being as prolific as Windass, however, he will probably cause a lot less problems on and off the field.
Conlon has played over 300 games so again he can be tagged as experienced which is probably what you need at fourth division level.
We must now have a squad of 8 full time professionals; at least they can now have 4-a-side in training. I think training last week must've involved canoeing across the training pitch as it was heavily flooded. They might actually get to kick a ball about this week.
Lets hope we get a new goalkeeper and some midfielders in the door this week.
Monday 2 July 2007
Diana concert
Did anyone else think the Diana concert on Sunday was utter shite? I only saw bits of it as I was busy constructing a nursery for my forthcoming progeny. The whole thing look dull, uninspiring and completely full of upper middle class twits. The line-up was dreadful - felt sorry for Ricky Gervais at the end, having to fill in for Elton John whilst he was pissing around backstage with his toupee.
What exactly did the 'peoples princess' actually do for the country? Slept with a couple of Arabs, told the Royal Family what she thought of them and died in a car crash. Not exactly a huge contribution to British society is it?
I also saw the documentary recently about the Diana car crash - why are certain people still insisting that there is a huge conspiracy around her death? A pissed-up driver going too fast crashes in a tunnel, passengers dead - that's it, end of story.
What exactly did the 'peoples princess' actually do for the country? Slept with a couple of Arabs, told the Royal Family what she thought of them and died in a car crash. Not exactly a huge contribution to British society is it?
I also saw the documentary recently about the Diana car crash - why are certain people still insisting that there is a huge conspiracy around her death? A pissed-up driver going too fast crashes in a tunnel, passengers dead - that's it, end of story.
Friday 29 June 2007
Local blogger hounds man from job
Yes ... it is true, following my rant earlier in the week about Bobby Davison, I can confirm that he has now been relieved of his post at BCFC:
http://www.bradfordcityfc.premiumtv.co.uk/page/News/0,,10266~1063845,00.html
I cannot claim this to be all my own work but I have certainly let my feelings be known over the last year in relation to his lack of ability.
No doubt 'super' Bob will be cleaning out the drains in Gipton next week or something equally appropriate to his skills - actually, I take that back, that is a disservice to those who are professionally capable of drainage cleansing. 'Super' Bob will probably just end of sat in Cross Flats park drinking strong cider all day and bothering children.
Onwards and upwards!
http://www.bradfordcityfc.premiumtv.co.uk/page/News/0,,10266~1063845,00.html
I cannot claim this to be all my own work but I have certainly let my feelings be known over the last year in relation to his lack of ability.
No doubt 'super' Bob will be cleaning out the drains in Gipton next week or something equally appropriate to his skills - actually, I take that back, that is a disservice to those who are professionally capable of drainage cleansing. 'Super' Bob will probably just end of sat in Cross Flats park drinking strong cider all day and bothering children.
Onwards and upwards!
Wednesday 27 June 2007
Bobby Davison is a ****
Not only is he a ****, he is the most useless and talentless coach ever to be part of Bradford City.
My blood was boiling at the weekend when I saw 'super' Bob playing for 'super' Leeds in the Masters tournament in Sheffield. Somehow Leeds managed to win the indoor tournament due to the help of 'super' Bob who was also seen offering the traditional Leeds Nazi salute to the crowd.
I hope City sack this odious little turd immediately. He has offered nothing at the club over the past few years and should've gone when Todd was sacked.
For the last few games of the season he was made to sit in the stand with his crayons; I think he was instructed to take notes on the opposition tactics and players, however I was fortunate to get a glance of his notes at one of the games (see below) and it proved to be quite revealing.
See you later Bob, no-one gives a f*** about you.
My blood was boiling at the weekend when I saw 'super' Bob playing for 'super' Leeds in the Masters tournament in Sheffield. Somehow Leeds managed to win the indoor tournament due to the help of 'super' Bob who was also seen offering the traditional Leeds Nazi salute to the crowd.
I hope City sack this odious little turd immediately. He has offered nothing at the club over the past few years and should've gone when Todd was sacked.
For the last few games of the season he was made to sit in the stand with his crayons; I think he was instructed to take notes on the opposition tactics and players, however I was fortunate to get a glance of his notes at one of the games (see below) and it proved to be quite revealing.
See you later Bob, no-one gives a f*** about you.
From smugness to misery
So Mr Blair has finally left number 10. I'm sure we all shed a tear as he left with his family to give his resignation to the queen. And what next for big Tony, a peace envoy for the middle east we hear? How on earth could he seriously be considered for such a position? He has spent the last 5 years blowing the shit out of the place.
And what of our next great leader ... the miserable Scottish twat that is Gordon Brown - never has one man been so devoid of personality and charisma. Oh yes, he knows a lot about taxation so no doubt we will all be feeling the pinch in due course ... dog tax, air tax, plant tax, walking tax, standing still on the pavement tax etc. I am sure we'll all be digging deep in due course to help fund the government's next 'war on terror'.
Good old Tony has left a whole lot of shit for Brown to sort with - Iraq, Asylum seekers, the NHS, pensions etc. No doubt Blair will be having a right old laugh as Gordon and his cabinet try to dig the country out of the crisis he has left it in.
And what of our next great leader ... the miserable Scottish twat that is Gordon Brown - never has one man been so devoid of personality and charisma. Oh yes, he knows a lot about taxation so no doubt we will all be feeling the pinch in due course ... dog tax, air tax, plant tax, walking tax, standing still on the pavement tax etc. I am sure we'll all be digging deep in due course to help fund the government's next 'war on terror'.
Good old Tony has left a whole lot of shit for Brown to sort with - Iraq, Asylum seekers, the NHS, pensions etc. No doubt Blair will be having a right old laugh as Gordon and his cabinet try to dig the country out of the crisis he has left it in.
Saturday 23 June 2007
More Glastonbury
Even though I hate the way the festival has gone with year with the mandatory photo IDs, finger printing and retina scans, I would still love to be there - if only just for one more weekend of mirth and mayhem. Some of my best (and worst) times have taken place in the mud sodden fields of Somerset and one day I intend to return.
I don't agree with the total commercialisation of the festival, however, in this day and age I suppose it is obligatory.
I have enjoyed the Arctic Monkeys and Calvin Harris so far and am looking forward to Babyshambles later. Oh what a shambles ... heard Pete was trying to ride a bike through 4 feet of mud earlier - oh dear!
Get to West Yorkshire's finest festival next week ... Shamblefest 2007 - Happy Mondays playing a 48 hour set on the glove and tap stage. Rockin' good.
I don't agree with the total commercialisation of the festival, however, in this day and age I suppose it is obligatory.
I have enjoyed the Arctic Monkeys and Calvin Harris so far and am looking forward to Babyshambles later. Oh what a shambles ... heard Pete was trying to ride a bike through 4 feet of mud earlier - oh dear!
Get to West Yorkshire's finest festival next week ... Shamblefest 2007 - Happy Mondays playing a 48 hour set on the glove and tap stage. Rockin' good.
Lily Allen is shit
Having just watched the highlights of Lily Allen at Glastonbury, I just cannot understand why people rate her. I thought she was dire; a very poor rendition of 'Heart of Glass' by Blondie was the icing on the cake - absolute dross!
With the exception of Fat Les, her Dad Keith has always produced the goods. I think it is time he told her to send the dress back to Primark and call it a day.
With the exception of Fat Les, her Dad Keith has always produced the goods. I think it is time he told her to send the dress back to Primark and call it a day.
Wednesday 20 June 2007
Manning
Genius or just another fat bastard?
I've heard lots of conjecture on the radio over the past few days. Some say he was a talented genius who wasn't prejudiced at all ... just good at topical gags! Others would obviously disagree and call him a filthy racialist.
Anyone care to comment?
I've heard lots of conjecture on the radio over the past few days. Some say he was a talented genius who wasn't prejudiced at all ... just good at topical gags! Others would obviously disagree and call him a filthy racialist.
Anyone care to comment?
Tycoon
Did anyone see ITV's challenger to The Apprentice last night - TYCOON? What a pile of dog shit! Why does anything shown on ITV look absolute rubbish? I cannot remember the last time I saw something decent on the channel.
Tycoon featured a blurred cocktail of average nobodies with crap ideas who were hoping to make it big as an entrepreneur. The ideas ranged from the idiotic to the absurd - a woman with a new vodka and fruit drink for the marketplace - yeah like there isn't 500 different ones available already. Said woman took two weeks to come up with a name for her beverage and then devised its only USP - it's 'refreshing'! Brilliant, have £20k love.
How about the old biddies trying to flog gardening gear to 'girls only' - pink wellingtons etc. Pure inspiration! Peter asked them to come up with a new name because their original wasn't appealing enough to a wider audience - they agreed on 'Sod' although my choice would've been 'Compost Slags'.
The best idea however was a guy who 'invented' a bag to transport carrier bags when you go to the supermarket - it was so groundbreaking that we didn't even get to see it. He did somehow manage to sell some though, possibly to his mum. The guiding investor for the show Peter Jones lacks the guile, aggression and aura of Mr Sugar but he does have his own coat of arms apparently:
http://www.peterjones.tv/index.cfm?fuseaction=PeterJones.About_Article&content_id=53
Genius!
I wonder if my good friend Fat Edgar has his own coat of arms? A wheel of Edam flanked by a couple of sizzling sausages perhaps? Send me a pic and I will post it on the site!
Anyway, I am now off to invent a radio controlled pigeon that fly around London dropping liquorice torpedoes on unsuspecting Japanese tourists.
Tycoon featured a blurred cocktail of average nobodies with crap ideas who were hoping to make it big as an entrepreneur. The ideas ranged from the idiotic to the absurd - a woman with a new vodka and fruit drink for the marketplace - yeah like there isn't 500 different ones available already. Said woman took two weeks to come up with a name for her beverage and then devised its only USP - it's 'refreshing'! Brilliant, have £20k love.
How about the old biddies trying to flog gardening gear to 'girls only' - pink wellingtons etc. Pure inspiration! Peter asked them to come up with a new name because their original wasn't appealing enough to a wider audience - they agreed on 'Sod' although my choice would've been 'Compost Slags'.
The best idea however was a guy who 'invented' a bag to transport carrier bags when you go to the supermarket - it was so groundbreaking that we didn't even get to see it. He did somehow manage to sell some though, possibly to his mum. The guiding investor for the show Peter Jones lacks the guile, aggression and aura of Mr Sugar but he does have his own coat of arms apparently:
http://www.peterjones.tv/index.cfm?fuseaction=PeterJones.About_Article&content_id=53
Genius!
I wonder if my good friend Fat Edgar has his own coat of arms? A wheel of Edam flanked by a couple of sizzling sausages perhaps? Send me a pic and I will post it on the site!
Anyway, I am now off to invent a radio controlled pigeon that fly around London dropping liquorice torpedoes on unsuspecting Japanese tourists.
Wednesday 13 June 2007
Olympic Logo
Yes ... we all know how shit it looks but what about the cost???? £400k, unbelievable - is this been paid for using our tax? The design company in question must be laughing all the way to the bank.
It begs a further issue on who should actually pay for the Olympics in 2012 - the cost is phenomenal and I guess it will be coming from a mix of tax, sponsorship and grants; I'm not really interested in the Olympics so am not really arsed about contributing to it. I heard a suggestion that at one point Ken Livingstone was going to ask Londoners only to foot the bill - very harsh that!
Tell Tony what you think and sign the petition to get the logo changed ...
http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/2012-Emblem/
(Feel free to post / send me alterantive logo suggestions)
It begs a further issue on who should actually pay for the Olympics in 2012 - the cost is phenomenal and I guess it will be coming from a mix of tax, sponsorship and grants; I'm not really interested in the Olympics so am not really arsed about contributing to it. I heard a suggestion that at one point Ken Livingstone was going to ask Londoners only to foot the bill - very harsh that!
Tell Tony what you think and sign the petition to get the logo changed ...
http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/2012-Emblem/
(Feel free to post / send me alterantive logo suggestions)
The Apprentice Finale
It is the season finale of The Apprentice this evening which should be entertaining. Of all the dross on TV at the moment, this is something which I really enjoy; it is amazing how absolutely stupid some of these idiots are! Take the blonde one who looks like a pig, she has been exposed in various tabloids for her various 'romps' with different men yet she still tried to portray this image of a loving mother for her kids - if she was that loving, would she bugger off and leave them for 12 weeks to piss about on TV. I also heard that her claims of a £90k salary were wide of the mark and that she has been hoofed from the Met Office for non-completion of her probationary period. Ho ho ho.
Still, The Apprentice remains a good show; some of the moments are utterly cringe-worthy!
I can't understand why they keep showing imagery of Canary Wharf? Yes, it is a symbol of British business done good ... however, Mr Sugar doesn't actually have an office there. I think he is based on Mile End Road somewhere and for those of you who have been to this area of East London, you will know it is the complete opposite of Canary Wharf.
I am sure (Sir) Alan Sugar is actually the missing link between ape and man - he looks like some huge hairy primate. His wealth is astonishing given the shoddy workmanship seen in Amstrad computers; they were aimed at the poor kids at school who's parents couldn't afford Speccy's and C64's (and the later STs and Amiga).
What is that area for behind the board room? does he have his own golden toilet and banana trees back there? Is it an ape paradise?
Anyway, I think it will be Cristina (the Irish one) who emerges triumphant.
Still, The Apprentice remains a good show; some of the moments are utterly cringe-worthy!
I can't understand why they keep showing imagery of Canary Wharf? Yes, it is a symbol of British business done good ... however, Mr Sugar doesn't actually have an office there. I think he is based on Mile End Road somewhere and for those of you who have been to this area of East London, you will know it is the complete opposite of Canary Wharf.
I am sure (Sir) Alan Sugar is actually the missing link between ape and man - he looks like some huge hairy primate. His wealth is astonishing given the shoddy workmanship seen in Amstrad computers; they were aimed at the poor kids at school who's parents couldn't afford Speccy's and C64's (and the later STs and Amiga).
What is that area for behind the board room? does he have his own golden toilet and banana trees back there? Is it an ape paradise?
Anyway, I think it will be Cristina (the Irish one) who emerges triumphant.
Monday 11 June 2007
Talentless Britain
I had the misfortune on Saturday to catch 10 minutes of Simon Cowell's new TV show 'Britain's got talent'. Surely the title is massively incorrect as the 10 minutes I saw were absolute shite and didn't show anyone displaying any talent of any note (including Ant and Dec).
It was like some third rate clubland talent show; how low will ITV stoop to try and up its ratings?
Luckily I went back to my original choice of viewing 'The Seven Ages of Rock', which was highly enjoyable; great to see the old footage of Black Sabbath, Deep Purple and Iron Maiden.
What on earth has happened to Geezer Butler's hair and was it me or did Bill Ward look like a Hobbit extra from Lord of the Rings. Time can be a cruel mistress!
It was like some third rate clubland talent show; how low will ITV stoop to try and up its ratings?
Luckily I went back to my original choice of viewing 'The Seven Ages of Rock', which was highly enjoyable; great to see the old footage of Black Sabbath, Deep Purple and Iron Maiden.
What on earth has happened to Geezer Butler's hair and was it me or did Bill Ward look like a Hobbit extra from Lord of the Rings. Time can be a cruel mistress!
Friday 8 June 2007
Season ticket renewal
It's that time of year again ... season ticket renewal. Despite having a 25-year season ticket at Bradford and already paying for this a number of years ago, we are still required to pay a contribution each season.
I don't really mind paying it as the club has been through unbelievable financial difficulties in the last few years. The extra contribution also ensures access to the Chairman's Suite prior to the matches; we only gained access to this for the last few games of last season but it was a welcome change to being sat out in the open watching our terrible pre-match warm up. The bar is reasonably well stocked although the Carlsberg does tend to come out looking like Lyon's best treacle.
With the return of Stuart McCall, there seems to be a new found optimism within the club. The last few years have been particularly desperate with the likes of Colin Todd and Bryan Robson at the helm. Good to see Robson back in a job (laughs)... I'm sure the Sheffield Utd Chairman will be delighted when he receives his first bar bill. Rumours at BCFC suggested that Robson had to be chauffeured round everywhere because he had lost his license due to drink-driving and also had terrible alcohol problems. Seems to be that Sheff Utd have made a cock up; they would've been better investing in McCall rather than Rab C. Nesbitt's less handsome cousin.
Who am I to complain, Stuart will no doubt bring a sense of pride and determination back to the team - I say team, it's more like a few kids and the remnants of the Jamaican bobsleigh team at the moment. There has been a massive delay in Stuart being 'officially' announced as Manager. Julian Rhodes has missed a trick here; surely they should have been an open top bus parade and official holiday to commemorate Stuart's appointment. Julian would've sold more season tickets and merchandise if he'd made more of a song and dance about the appointment.
Anyway, friendlies at Harrogate and Farsley towards the end of July should set the pulses racing!
I don't really mind paying it as the club has been through unbelievable financial difficulties in the last few years. The extra contribution also ensures access to the Chairman's Suite prior to the matches; we only gained access to this for the last few games of last season but it was a welcome change to being sat out in the open watching our terrible pre-match warm up. The bar is reasonably well stocked although the Carlsberg does tend to come out looking like Lyon's best treacle.
With the return of Stuart McCall, there seems to be a new found optimism within the club. The last few years have been particularly desperate with the likes of Colin Todd and Bryan Robson at the helm. Good to see Robson back in a job (laughs)... I'm sure the Sheffield Utd Chairman will be delighted when he receives his first bar bill. Rumours at BCFC suggested that Robson had to be chauffeured round everywhere because he had lost his license due to drink-driving and also had terrible alcohol problems. Seems to be that Sheff Utd have made a cock up; they would've been better investing in McCall rather than Rab C. Nesbitt's less handsome cousin.
Who am I to complain, Stuart will no doubt bring a sense of pride and determination back to the team - I say team, it's more like a few kids and the remnants of the Jamaican bobsleigh team at the moment. There has been a massive delay in Stuart being 'officially' announced as Manager. Julian Rhodes has missed a trick here; surely they should have been an open top bus parade and official holiday to commemorate Stuart's appointment. Julian would've sold more season tickets and merchandise if he'd made more of a song and dance about the appointment.
Anyway, friendlies at Harrogate and Farsley towards the end of July should set the pulses racing!
Premiership Footballers v Nurses
Did anyone see that programme last night about the woman who was trying to get all 556 Premiership footballers to give up a day's pay and donate it to an emergency fund for Nurses?
A noble cause I thought ... in the end, she ended up getting 50% to sign-up which wasn't bad. After all, an average Premiership footballer has to work so hard to earn his cash doesn't he?
One of the most annoying parts of the programme was the appearance of Glenn Little in the Reading FC dressing room. He is an absolute bastard who I detest; his demeanor is that of a lanky awkward giraffe, however, I remember seeing him play for Burnley once where he turned his spasticated frame into that of a triumphant gazelle and danced merry round the BCFC defence.
How on earth did Alastair Campbell get on there? Another Burnley connection, another complete bastard!
A noble cause I thought ... in the end, she ended up getting 50% to sign-up which wasn't bad. After all, an average Premiership footballer has to work so hard to earn his cash doesn't he?
One of the most annoying parts of the programme was the appearance of Glenn Little in the Reading FC dressing room. He is an absolute bastard who I detest; his demeanor is that of a lanky awkward giraffe, however, I remember seeing him play for Burnley once where he turned his spasticated frame into that of a triumphant gazelle and danced merry round the BCFC defence.
How on earth did Alastair Campbell get on there? Another Burnley connection, another complete bastard!
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