So Police now suspect that Kate McCann is involved in the death of their daughter Madeleine. Interestingly enough we were out for a family meal on Saturday and my Dad suggested that he smelt something fishy about the whole thing; he even went as far as pointing the finger at the parents. We all looked at him as if he had just jumped on a new born puppy's head - how could the parents possibly be involved? After the huge outpouring of support and sympathy from the public across the world, how could they possibly have been involved in her 'murder'?
Something is rotten in Denmark and its not the contents of Prince Hamlet's lunchbox.
Friday, 7 September 2007
Thursday, 6 September 2007
Pavarotti
My memories of World Cup '90? Gazza crying, losing on penalties to Germany, Toto Scillachi, Roger Milla and running battles with the Italian Caribrinari ... oh yeah and some big fat guy wandering round Milan in a big shirt singing 'Nessum Dorma'.
Just heard that our large Italian friend has lost his battle with cancer. Not really a fan of opera but give the guy credit for bringing it to the huddled masses on the back of the World Cup.
If only World Cups were as entertaining and memorable as they were back then. Looks like England will not even make the next Euro Championships.
Just heard that our large Italian friend has lost his battle with cancer. Not really a fan of opera but give the guy credit for bringing it to the huddled masses on the back of the World Cup.
If only World Cups were as entertaining and memorable as they were back then. Looks like England will not even make the next Euro Championships.
Trawlermen
The excellent 'Trawlermen' returned on BBC1 last night. It was a 'best of' the recent exploits of the Scottish fishermen but nevertheless it is a very entertaining programme.
Sometimes I complain about the long hours and intensiveness of my own job but it is nothing compared the job these guys do. As I sat in my 5 star hotel, lying on my king size bed watching them, I realised things really aren't that tough and dealing with the odd difficult customer is nothing compared to wrestling with the treacherous North sea on regular basis.
Looking forward to a new series soon. Keep up the good work chaps.
Sometimes I complain about the long hours and intensiveness of my own job but it is nothing compared the job these guys do. As I sat in my 5 star hotel, lying on my king size bed watching them, I realised things really aren't that tough and dealing with the odd difficult customer is nothing compared to wrestling with the treacherous North sea on regular basis.
Looking forward to a new series soon. Keep up the good work chaps.
Friday, 17 August 2007
Jimmy Jimmy
To commemorate the trip to the new meadow tomorrow, I have prepared a re-construction of Jimmy Quinn's goal from the late 80s:
A trip to the meadow
Tomorrow sees BCFC playing at Shrewsbury Town; not only that, but it is The Shrews first home league game at their new stadium - I use the word 'stadium' in its broadest sense, it will probably be more like a shoebox with about as much character as my shed.
However, I am not downhearted about this trip, quite the opposite in fact. Shrewsbury has been one of my favourite away trips over the years; Gay Meadow was a strange but enticing ground where we've generally played well. I once saw a Jimmy Quinn goal there in the late 80s that could've quite easily been scored by Pele or George Best in his prime; he didn't quite get the same recognition though - just a load of marauding bastards going mental in the away end. A 3-1 win that day if my memory serves correct!
On another occasion I remember a trip to the Meadow where we lost in a cup replay - one of my mates 'Evs' decided that the loss for too tragic for words and decided to launch his hat from the car window as we miserably drove back up north through the windy Shropshire lanes.
Then there was the time where we managed a 1-1 draw there in the 1995-96 promotion season. The result seems trivial enough but I believe it was The Shrews 10,000 home game in the football league so quite a celebration was put on by the locals.
I think that was probably the last time we played Shrewsbury; since then we've been up to the very top and now find ourselves down at the very bottom. Let us hope that our slide does not continue and that we can start to claw our way back up the north face of the football league, starting tomorrow.
I wonder what the man in the coracle is doing now? Was he on a bonus for every ball he rescued from the river?
However, I am not downhearted about this trip, quite the opposite in fact. Shrewsbury has been one of my favourite away trips over the years; Gay Meadow was a strange but enticing ground where we've generally played well. I once saw a Jimmy Quinn goal there in the late 80s that could've quite easily been scored by Pele or George Best in his prime; he didn't quite get the same recognition though - just a load of marauding bastards going mental in the away end. A 3-1 win that day if my memory serves correct!
On another occasion I remember a trip to the Meadow where we lost in a cup replay - one of my mates 'Evs' decided that the loss for too tragic for words and decided to launch his hat from the car window as we miserably drove back up north through the windy Shropshire lanes.
Then there was the time where we managed a 1-1 draw there in the 1995-96 promotion season. The result seems trivial enough but I believe it was The Shrews 10,000 home game in the football league so quite a celebration was put on by the locals.
I think that was probably the last time we played Shrewsbury; since then we've been up to the very top and now find ourselves down at the very bottom. Let us hope that our slide does not continue and that we can start to claw our way back up the north face of the football league, starting tomorrow.
I wonder what the man in the coracle is doing now? Was he on a bonus for every ball he rescued from the river?
Thursday, 16 August 2007
The three stages of labour
I had always thought the three stages of labour were as follows:
Clement Attlee >>>> Harold Wilson >>>> Tony Blair
It appears that it actually refers to the labour process that women go through during child birth. This was extensively described to Mrs Bear and I at the ante-natal class last night.
At stage 1, the cervix becomes all stretchy like a medium rare steak – what a nice thought? No need to get to the hospital just yet, the best advice is to stay at home, eat lots of snacks and have a nap; luckily Mrs Bear is good at all these things.
Contractions become longer, stronger and more frequent. This is the point where I start to panic as I will no doubt be at a meeting in the Outer Hebrides and will need to get to the hospital ASAP.
The midwife advises that you should ‘go to your happy place’ when the contractions start getting more and more painful. She suggested an imaginary igloo – I thought it was getting a bit Fight Club at this point!
At the second stage, junior decides to make an appearance as his head decides to pop out. We watched two separate videos of childbirth which were most reassuring (!) At least 50% of the women were sat there is abject terror as they saw the women going through it on the TV. The men were even worse!
Finally, at stage 3, junior pops out. We put on his (or her) BCFC romper suit and jobs a good ‘un.
Yes I know I am slightly trivialising the process here and am acutely aware of the forthcoming pain that will be endured during the birth. I am fully prepared for my role as birthing partner; kits kats purchased and ready to go.
We also had a tour of the delivery suite which was again most re-assuring. We are now even considering a water birth as the facilities look excellent and somehow seem more relaxing and comforting than the very clinically focused delivery rooms.
Anyway, whilst all this was going on, Bradford went out of the League Cup to Wolves – a narrow 2-1 defeat which was better than the whitewash I was expecting.
Clement Attlee >>>> Harold Wilson >>>> Tony Blair
It appears that it actually refers to the labour process that women go through during child birth. This was extensively described to Mrs Bear and I at the ante-natal class last night.
At stage 1, the cervix becomes all stretchy like a medium rare steak – what a nice thought? No need to get to the hospital just yet, the best advice is to stay at home, eat lots of snacks and have a nap; luckily Mrs Bear is good at all these things.
Contractions become longer, stronger and more frequent. This is the point where I start to panic as I will no doubt be at a meeting in the Outer Hebrides and will need to get to the hospital ASAP.
The midwife advises that you should ‘go to your happy place’ when the contractions start getting more and more painful. She suggested an imaginary igloo – I thought it was getting a bit Fight Club at this point!
At the second stage, junior decides to make an appearance as his head decides to pop out. We watched two separate videos of childbirth which were most reassuring (!) At least 50% of the women were sat there is abject terror as they saw the women going through it on the TV. The men were even worse!
Finally, at stage 3, junior pops out. We put on his (or her) BCFC romper suit and jobs a good ‘un.
Yes I know I am slightly trivialising the process here and am acutely aware of the forthcoming pain that will be endured during the birth. I am fully prepared for my role as birthing partner; kits kats purchased and ready to go.
We also had a tour of the delivery suite which was again most re-assuring. We are now even considering a water birth as the facilities look excellent and somehow seem more relaxing and comforting than the very clinically focused delivery rooms.
Anyway, whilst all this was going on, Bradford went out of the League Cup to Wolves – a narrow 2-1 defeat which was better than the whitewash I was expecting.
Monday, 13 August 2007
Do Jamaican's make good footballers?
Behold 13,000 boisterous City fans eagerly anticipating the kick off at 2.55pm on Saturday. I wondered how many of them left the ground satisfied at 5pm that afternoon?
I thought the performance was largely disappointing; even though it is a new team, with the experience on show we still should’ve managed more than a 1-1 draw with Macclesfield. In all honesty I thought we were lucky to scrape the draw; the penalty which lead to the goal was dubious at best.
The positives from Saturday; Barry Conlon – will be an essential cog in the wheel this season. He showed amazing touches and link up play, it is a pity he missed a couple of headers and the initial penalty.
Alex Rhodes – not the chairman’s wife, although she has done a good job in the last few months … the young winger formerly of Brentford showed pace and skill during the first half; although he tired towards the end, I am sure he will be a good acquisition.
The bar – we had been informed that there would be no draft beer this season, only bottles. To our surprise this was not the case and the taps did flow with finest ales (Well, dodgy Carlsberg anyway). Still there was no increase in prices either which was nice and to round things off, the bar maid who I may’ve uncharitably commented upon last year seemed delighted to see us and was indeed chatty and friendly. Will it last?
The negatives – Donovan and Daley; have we not learnt our lessons with these two? Goalkeepers are meant to show confidence through their handling and kicking abilities; Donovan does not and although a good shot stopper he is simply not good enough in other areas. Daley is an enigma – we will probably have to invent some kind of decoding machine to understand what goes on inside his head – wingers use their pace to get down the line and pass the ball accurately to centre-forwards; alas Daley in incapable of this, he should spend some time with Beagrie, Ellis, Waddle, Hendrie et al to find out why they were so good at what they did – it wasn’t always about pace but good passing ability is a minimum requirement. Come back Nicky Sumerbee, the idiot in the CIBA stand is probably long gone now.
Finally, I’ve seen comments already about the Muppets sat behind us in the stand. If I had wanted full commentary on the game, I would’ve got season tickets with Andy Gray and Martin Tyler; these two idiots are like Waldorf and Stadler from the Muppets with their tales of the bleeding obvious, racist analogies and mindless drivel. I can’t cope with these two and the Witches of Eastwick alongside us – I politely asked them if I could get past before the game and they didn’t move so I had to boot their lunchbox on to the row below.
At least we didn’t lose. Onwards to Shrewsbury.
I thought the performance was largely disappointing; even though it is a new team, with the experience on show we still should’ve managed more than a 1-1 draw with Macclesfield. In all honesty I thought we were lucky to scrape the draw; the penalty which lead to the goal was dubious at best.
The positives from Saturday; Barry Conlon – will be an essential cog in the wheel this season. He showed amazing touches and link up play, it is a pity he missed a couple of headers and the initial penalty.
Alex Rhodes – not the chairman’s wife, although she has done a good job in the last few months … the young winger formerly of Brentford showed pace and skill during the first half; although he tired towards the end, I am sure he will be a good acquisition.
The bar – we had been informed that there would be no draft beer this season, only bottles. To our surprise this was not the case and the taps did flow with finest ales (Well, dodgy Carlsberg anyway). Still there was no increase in prices either which was nice and to round things off, the bar maid who I may’ve uncharitably commented upon last year seemed delighted to see us and was indeed chatty and friendly. Will it last?
The negatives – Donovan and Daley; have we not learnt our lessons with these two? Goalkeepers are meant to show confidence through their handling and kicking abilities; Donovan does not and although a good shot stopper he is simply not good enough in other areas. Daley is an enigma – we will probably have to invent some kind of decoding machine to understand what goes on inside his head – wingers use their pace to get down the line and pass the ball accurately to centre-forwards; alas Daley in incapable of this, he should spend some time with Beagrie, Ellis, Waddle, Hendrie et al to find out why they were so good at what they did – it wasn’t always about pace but good passing ability is a minimum requirement. Come back Nicky Sumerbee, the idiot in the CIBA stand is probably long gone now.
Finally, I’ve seen comments already about the Muppets sat behind us in the stand. If I had wanted full commentary on the game, I would’ve got season tickets with Andy Gray and Martin Tyler; these two idiots are like Waldorf and Stadler from the Muppets with their tales of the bleeding obvious, racist analogies and mindless drivel. I can’t cope with these two and the Witches of Eastwick alongside us – I politely asked them if I could get past before the game and they didn’t move so I had to boot their lunchbox on to the row below.
At least we didn’t lose. Onwards to Shrewsbury.
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